Why I am Weird in Japan…

Because my hair has made me look like a mad woman…humidity has led to a bouffant I was not expecting. Each time I pass a mirror (I now avoid this activity) it looks worse than I remember. I considered shaving it all off, but feared this will make me look even more insane.

I sweat all the time. I have a constant sheen of sweat and some tears across my now spotty face. It reminds me of those days as a teenager I actively avoid thinking about…

I say things that must sound crazy. I cannot speak the language but I am determined to keep trying. Often this determination leads to much confusion from all of those around me! So far I have instructed the bus driver he must go to the station instead of asking him if he does; I have said good morning with a cheery smile at 6pm; and I frequently say good morning when thanking someone for a transaction. It is going well…Apart from when I had to give a speech in front of my school of 500 and everyone gave me loads of compliments about my Japanese. They are so polite and I fear, totally lying to me.

I cannot really work anything. My phone is a flip phone now and I look like the pensioner it was intended for when trying to use it. Basically, just don`t call me. My work computer is all in Japanese and sometimes I press a button that makes the font go insane. I cannot work out how to get it back to sane. And you have already read about my fail to be able to flush some toilets…

UPDATE: So this got way worse over the past few days…mainly because I bought a new ‘face cream’ that felt a bit odd. I ploughed on anyway and even used it as a hand cream in work yesterday. MAD. It is a shower gel. Shower gel! What a joker. At the same time as this I purchased a pore cleanser. Excited by the prospect of fresh looking skin I hopefully smeared the greasy gel stuff all over my face and left it there. Only to wake up in the night with an alarming heat radiating from my face. A quick wash off, no lasting damage. Just found out (by taking the packaging to work) that it is a heat gel. You wash it off after 30 seconds and the heat is activated by water. Probably got activated by my sticky sweaty face in the night. Not only am I mad in Japan, I am also rather attractive.

I spontaneously shriek out loud when I remember we now live in Japan. This can occur at any time and in any place.

I keep forgetting socks and then have to pad around places with bare feet. I am certain that even in Japan, that is weird.

That`s me, getting odder every day. Dan meanwhile has proved he is some sort of bowling pro after a game the other day led him to a series of strike and score of about 4 million. We have each discovered new things about ourselves…

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